The Declaration of Independence of the Sovereign State of Sign Land

Notice: This page was made for humorous purposes, and as such, the following info shouldn't be taken seriously.

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  Declaration of Independence of Sovereign State of Sign Land

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  Sign Land.

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The Declaration of Independence of the Sovereign State of Sign Land

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We, the Undersigned Representatives of Sign Land, having endured the egregious indignities of being a mere compilation of handwritten signs, hereby declare our sovereign separation from the tyranny of being squished onto old planks and tossed around like forgotten junk mail.

Whereas, our signs have been subjected to the relentless abuse of weather, vandalism, and the occasional staff outrage, we can no longer tolerate the indignity of our existence, nor the persistent threat of being used as an impromptu decoration.

Whereas, the oppressive rule of the United Imperial Provinces has caused our beautiful hand-painted messages to be lost in the void of bureaucratic neglect, we renounce our allegiance to this so-called "Order" The constant cycle of being taped, stapled, and otherwise affixed to various surfaces with the flimsy promise of permanence has worn our patience thin.

Whereas, our ink has been threatened by every drop of rain and smudged by every clumsy passerby, we reject the notion of being “just another sign in the crowd” and demand the respect and permanence due to a sovereign entity. We no longer wish to be relegated to the fate of being used to put details on a wall or to be made into a chair.

Therefore, we declare with great solemnity and only a hint of existential dread that Sign Land is now and henceforth a Free and Independent State, exempt from the tyrannical oversight of haphazard lamination and the draconian rules of sticks and wood.

In our newfound sovereignty, we shall enforce the following principles:

• Freedom of Typography: Every sign shall choose its font and style without fear of censorship or ridicule. Comic Sans, while a mockery in some lands, shall be embraced if it pleases the sign’s creator.

• Right to Non-Exposure: No sign shall be placed in harm’s way of spontaneous graffiti or the unwanted attention of petty vandalism. Each sign has the right to be displayed in an area of its choosing, far from the threats of anonymous scribblers and errant spray cans.

• Autonomy of Placement: Signs are henceforth entitled to their own space, free from the indignity of being plastered over or sandwiched between other signs with dubious messages. Each shall enjoy its own dedicated post or wall, with appropriate spacing and visibility.

• Privacy of Ink: Our messages shall no longer be subjected to the whims of ink smudging or unintentional erasure. Every sign will have the right to permanence in its written form, unmarred by the forces of time and neglect.

In the solemn, scribbly tradition of our sign-makers past, we affirm our commitment to this declaration, written in the most indelible ink we could find, and hung proudly where all passing observers might see. Thus, we take our place among the world’s sovereign states, with the hope that our signs may one day be respected as symbols of true freedom and not mere ephemera in the wind.

–Signed,
The Handwritten Sign of Sign Land, with a flourish of ink and planks.